"Life is sexually transmitted"
- Flying Dutchman
on Words of Wisedom, Class 95

How true, how true....


Good to go for a long story?

I have a friend, a close friend whom I have know since my secondary school days. That makes us friends for the last 14 years? Something like that...
Well, I'll be the first to admit that I probably have not been there enough for him for the last few years. But he still reminds a close friend and I believe I am one of his, the few that he has.

He parted ways with his girlfriend. It was close to 2 years ago. He felt that the whole relationship ended too abruptly, even though at that time they both agreed that it was the best thing for them. Ever since then, he had been trying to get back together because he realised that it was a mistake and to him, she was THE girl for him.
As for the girl, well, she has gone and changed her handphone number and basically closed off all contact with him.
Him? Well, he still feels that the girl had left him because she had deemed him to be unambitious and with no goals in life. Why? Well, because he was unemployed - he left his job of 1 year plus - and was in between jobs. The problem started then and this issue of him not working came up from time to time. Thus, he assumed that this was the main cause.

He has been trying and working hard to be a successful person since. He wants to make it fairly big and then go back to her and show her that he is no bum. Then he wants to ask for another chance. He still has her a pic of her in his handphone.
To him, she is her soulmate and most likely the one God has set as THE one for him. Nothing and no one else really matters.

I have been talking to him about it. I want him to know that hope is good but at least he should be open to all possiblities. He must want to look forward and not just look back. God can open a door of opportunity for us, but we must want to step through it.

I feel so hurt for him, because I know his pain, personally. Its not easy and 2 years is not exactly long but neither is it short.
All I can do is to listen as a friend and say my piece. I can only do this much, because at the end of the day, to step through the door or not, is a personal choice.

You can say that I may have grown stronger; some can say that I have grown colder. You can even say that I have lost the fire, or maybe I have just lost it.

Love lost, emotionally, perhaps it the hardest thing for a person, be it of a father/mother or a spouse/mate. At the end of the day, we have a choice - painful choice and one that we need to remind ourselves constantly - but nevertheless a choice.

Maybe I have gone through a fair bit. I am not saying that I have gone through more heartbreaks than anyone, just that I believe it is ok for me to say that the heartbreaks I have gone through are not your conventional sort. They probably affect me much more, the way things went. Like a human, we grow with each lesson in life.

I am not close to having another relationship. In fact, I would probably look forward to another if and when it happens. But right now, things are getting back on track for me. The human truely is a one that has remarkable recovery powers. The mind is an incredible piece of work and the heart is stronger than we ever know, in more ways than one.

There is lots more that I can say but I think I have exhaust your reading concentration for 1 day. There are many many things I don't understand and I learnt that sometimes I cannot seek to understand everything. Instead, I will seek to understand what I should. The rest, I will leave it people better than I am. At the end of the day, I just want what everyone wants. I just want to be happy...
my choice, no one else's...