shit happens
ok, don be too misled by the title of this post.
nothing too much happened, though i just got back last night from me short trip up to Penang.
let me first say that the food there is excellent. it is true. the hawker food, from the char kauy teow to the chendol is just heavenly. needless to say, i was out there eating from dusk till dawn, well at least from i woke till i sleep. did went out pubbing with me friend and so woke up late on the 2nd day.

thank you very much also, sat, for the hospitality shown to me by both you and your relatives. they had this huge lunch going on and i was invited. so there i was, gouging down rice with great curry chicken, assam fish and sotong, eggs together with me rice and not forgetting the fried chicken. and this was just an hour after i had my char kuay teow and chendol! the bbq fish is nice and cheap! 8 ringgit for a fish for 2. come now, where to find in s'pore?
thanx for the food trip...


since we are on trips, i was thinking about it when i was on my way back down.
i realised that i never did have a good trip with me loved one at all.
of course, the trips i had with me guys were always good. from the beaches of redang to the mountains of switzerlands down to the beer gardens in germany, they were great trips. but the only trip i had to bali ended with a broken engagement and plenty of heartaches.
with one, we had wanted to go plenty of places but it was a pity bali ended like so.
and before that, with another, it would not happen either, since her parents would never allow her to travel, much less with me.
so i guess i'm still waiting. but whether it really happened, well, its ok, because hey, at least in my mind, i know that it will be great. if it never happened, then i guess i would have the perfect vacation in my mind... no real life to ruin it.



i'm definitely not going to make many friends with this next section but as a friend, i guess i have to do my part, no matter how nasty it is.

there comes a time when we cannot just think of ourselves. we should and need to think about those around us, family, loved ones and friends (to a less extend i guess).
i remember a time when i was doing what i wanted because i was being myself. i did not care what others think about me. i think that that is fine, but i do realise that as the years passed, things start to be different.
i now have to think twice or even thrice before i do anything which might concern my family, esp my mum. now that she is alone and only have 2 of us brothers providing for her, i need to consider her. it is my social and moral responsibilty.

by all means, if work is fucked up, and you feel like staying in bed rather than go to work, then please, change. all i am saying is that consider all factors. if everything is covered, then i say go for it. do it, quick before you change your mind and then end up having to slog for another 2 years.
if your love life is screwed up, then i say consider all factors. are you able to live and face this person for the next 10 years? if you can, then i say, do it. Time and tide awaits now man. if we are sorry for making a friend wait for 15 mins because we are late, then what if someone makes you wait for 1 year? hmmm...
finally, do we let ourselves wallow and watch ourselves in the mirror fade away? so, shit happens and like i always say, it happens all the time. I am a prefect example. damn, i have cried my tears, i have cracked my head over hard decisions, endured a death of one of my closest family, went through heartaches and then heartbreaks... coming so close and yet so far away...

i am neither stronger or better than any of you. but - just a small little but - maybe i might have gone through certain matters you have not. you will definitely have gone through some i have not experienced. why not pool our resources?

i say, if the boss is giving you hell, then to hell with him.
i say, if the man is not trustworthy, then tell him so and the next time you say you will do something, do it. we are all good enough for someone out there, or maybe none at all. but at the end of the day, we need to ask ourselves, do we want to be happy? if you want to be, then i'm sure you know what will make you happy and what does not. so why are we still stuck in our ways of doing things or be on the receiving end of stuff which does not make us happy?
50 50 choice. what i want and what i should do...

personally, if the work is hindering my well being. i will walk away from it. alas there is responsibilties to others, but if that is covered, then i will walk away. do one thing at a time, and do the 'now' thing.
love to me is all important. but forcing love would be a sin because it just means that one or both party are not happy. so walking away is the best situation. i did not worry about whether i would be able to find another love or not. i just did the 'now' thingy.
do you see the similarity? we are all stuck doing something we are not happy with. i tried my best, damn i tried, but to no avail. i quit. then we all start over again. sure i had to pick up the pieces, but lets face, if you could have choosen the easy way and just hang in there. Hey, then don't quit. you can just get stuck in your job, which you hate, or a relationship which has no love in it and one which is going nowhere. then at least, you will not have to worry about responsibilities, or picking up the pieces. all we need to endure is a little bit of stick from the boss everyday making me miserable, or maybe the occasional let down from the one and only person i love, or how abt the 'i see no future but i do love you' thingy and i will try to live with it ... for now.

boys and girls, after all the ranting and ravings, i do hope you know what i am getting at, because i sure don't.
i hope and pray you be happy. after looking at an unhappy face every morning in the mirror, it would do wonders if i can see some happy faces on my friends.